quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
