i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
