He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
