why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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