I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
