Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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