Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
