I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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