is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
