there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
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I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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