If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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