I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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