We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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