I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
