Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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