On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
