Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
