Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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