its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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