Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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