I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it glows. i had to have it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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