i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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