Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
