I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in