sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
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Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.