Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester. http://tfl.nu/tcd3

Replies (14) Good night (3593) Bad night (609)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3 http://tfl.nu/cutl

Replies (32) Good night (5390) Bad night (1727)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else. http://tfl.nu/yur0

Replies (47) Good night (13002) Bad night (933)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve. http://tfl.nu/3z74

Replies (75) Good night (4839) Bad night (1126)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka.. http://tfl.nu/lv2f

Replies (20) Good night (4550) Bad night (1069)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles. http://tfl.nu/usa7

Replies (27) Good night (1998) Bad night (5729)
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz

Replies (28) Good night (5147) Bad night (2242)
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine http://tfl.nu/4lyn

Replies (27) Good night (5854) Bad night (1217)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list. http://tfl.nu/ifsp

Replies (20) Good night (7990) Bad night (1064)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you http://tfl.nu/95xm

Replies (4) Good night (1689) Bad night (594)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing. http://tfl.nu/h581

Replies (10) Good night (2355) Bad night (745)
Favorite
(504): View more from Louisiana

Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k

Replies (14) Good night (2126) Bad night (703)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce? http://tfl.nu/j2ba

Replies (26) Good night (4199) Bad night (617)
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have http://tfl.nu/07nn

Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (366)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it. http://tfl.nu/y85o

Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (292)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: