Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  How long until YT realizes that it's a man?

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  (205): How long until YT realizes that it's a man? http://tfl.nu/84xs
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (938)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.

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  (540): I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up. (540) I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid. http://tfl.nu/obhg
  Replies (20) Good night (3911) Bad night (713)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

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  (785): Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them? http://tfl.nu/f0lg
  Replies (137) Good night (851) Bad night (2792)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

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  (608): sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself. http://tfl.nu/6c7w
  Replies (26) Good night (10189) Bad night (1859)
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  (714): View more from California

  My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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  (714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win. http://tfl.nu/b8se
  Replies (15) Good night (5423) Bad night (1369)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1264) Bad night (4603)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.

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  (570): Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore. http://tfl.nu/xw8g
  Replies (17) Good night (1376) Bad night (3133)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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  (423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0
  Replies (8) Good night (3091) Bad night (1007)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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  (+49): In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life? http://tfl.nu/2p4e
  Replies (2) Good night (1443) Bad night (1565)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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  (314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (521)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.

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  (864): Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you. http://tfl.nu/7af4
  Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (1089)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source

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  (503): i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source http://tfl.nu/1syu
  Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (373)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.

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  (270): I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony. http://tfl.nu/dln2
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (375)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.

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  (610): The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly. http://tfl.nu/cjbh
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (343)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.

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  (+44): Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever. http://tfl.nu/fu0y
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (460)

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