I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.