Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2340) Bad night (784)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

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  (602): and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time" http://tfl.nu/r7we
  Replies (40) Good night (8477) Bad night (3143)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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  (636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle" http://tfl.nu/m65a
  Replies (17) Good night (7225) Bad night (940)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong

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  (856): i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong http://tfl.nu/5qbx
  Replies (15) Good night (6488) Bad night (1545)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"

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  (248): It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland" http://tfl.nu/fgmr
  Replies (44) Good night (4015) Bad night (1453)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

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  (740): It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex. http://tfl.nu/8qyg
  Replies (18) Good night (1047) Bad night (4767)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...

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  (801): I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag... http://tfl.nu/qim6
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (3251)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?

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  (970): You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you? http://tfl.nu/r91h
  Replies (2) Good night (1098) Bad night (2655)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?

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  (781): do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents? http://tfl.nu/2gwr
  Replies (13) Good night (644) Bad night (1615)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You okay?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread

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  (412): You okay? (1-412): I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/1951
  Replies (3) Good night (1059) Bad night (573)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.

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  (818): Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party. http://tfl.nu/8owu
  Replies (12) Good night (512) Bad night (1100)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.

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  (814): I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount. http://tfl.nu/e0cf
  Replies (5) Good night (1069) Bad night (287)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  Happy birthday, America.

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  (913): Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there. (1-913): Happy birthday, America. http://tfl.nu/2w6l
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (249)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!

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  (720): WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!! http://tfl.nu/4pv4
  Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (601)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.

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  (407): For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk. http://tfl.nu/qbsc
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (781)

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