She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.