He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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