Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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