i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
