THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
