I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
