Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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