he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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