I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
