also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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