you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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