gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
