pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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