remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
