I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
