she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
