ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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