So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
