Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
