what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
