I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
