Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
