This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
