Do vagina's smell?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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