I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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