if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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