What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
