Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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