I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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