Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
