She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
