I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
