went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
