PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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