Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
