I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
