Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
