i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
