Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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