My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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