I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
