he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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