Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
