yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
