I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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