glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my sisters under your porch take her home
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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