just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
